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The Patterns of Life

NineTomatoes- Patterns of LifeI’m always thinking in patterns. I see everything this way.. lines, shapes, colors. Everything stems from it.. thoughts, words, actions, behaviors, reactions, dreams, daily living. I see souls as patterns. I listen to patterns. I can’t separate myself from the patterns around me, especially in nature.

I do count on the laws of the Universe to sync me up with other similar patterns. And when I see patterns in my material world that don’t resonate, I go inward to investigate my innermost thoughts and feelings. To uproot what doesn’t serve me. To change the patterns.

The creative flow is the only place I know to go for answers. It’s the river of life that runs through everything, and we’re not just connected to it. We’re part of it. Part of the whole. When I tune into the patterns of my own creative spirit, I’m so high. I’m as high as the stars, millions of lightyears away. As powerful as a dozen suns. As lit up as all the galaxies in existence. And that’s how I remember, and know beyond doubt, who I really am. That’s how I love everything and everyone.

It’s not the love we normally think of, it’s the joy and peace of fully feeling my inherent, creative soul. My essence. The thread of All that is me. That kind of bigness can’t be defined or contained, only touched. And in touching it, felt. It releases everything that’s ready and available to release. It fills every hole with its brilliance. There are no questions. And no words.

Just the patterns of life.

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Geometry Defines Everything

NineTomatoes SuperPower geometry

Geometry defines everything. When we remember that, the world looks different. Feels different. We recognize each other on a deeper level, and in so doing, find natural kindness and compassion for ourselves and everyone else. Can’t be helped, and once ignited, never stops burning, becoming, remembering. It’s a path to awareness that requires no thought and takes us well beyond thought, if we’re willing.

I love to read about people in history who’ve proclaimed these same truths, despite fear of persecution or death! Nowadays, it’s not so scary to say out loud, but there’s still some trepidation on my part. There’s a magical element to all of this that’s beyond logic or explanation. It’s knowing. Truth. Faith. Trust. When we run smack into it, we know it. We don’t need a degree or any special talent, just memory and awareness. And that can sometimes upset the traditionally-minded.

Here’s a quote from a book by John Michell. Socrates and Michell are just two in a long line of philosophers who felt compelled to share what they remembered.

The square, the most solid and material of geometric shapes, was used by Socrates to demonstrate the most highly ineffable of his philosophical doctrines, the immortality of the soul. We have, he observed, certain innate forms of knowledge which can be drawn out (educated) into our conscious minds. Knowledge, said Socrates, is recollection. The truths of number and geometry, for example, are within us, and we can either discover them for ourselves or, once they have been pointed out to us, we recognize them as old friends. If we have not been instructed in these things in this life, we must have learnt them in some other existence. In that case, there is an immortal element in our beings – the soul.”

NineTomatoes SuperPower geometry Click to visit the gallery and purchase the print

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Build Your Dream House

For years, I thought building my dream house meant renovating, adding rooms, buying the best equipment and furniture, and hiring a decorator to tie it all together. I actually started out on that path twenty+ years ago, with a vision and a fat wallet.

But then, as we hired contractors and shopped for all the stuff, different thoughts popped into my head. Thoughts like, omg, look at all these people shopping for the same stuff we are. We all look the same and have the same stuff in our carts. I imagined us all going home to our renovation projects, and I really started to feel glum. At first, I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then it came clear – what’s the point?

NineTomatoes Palace DesignI really wondered! What’s the point of all this? I wanted my dream house for the same reason we all want anything – to feel good. But I kept having the same vision: at the end of the day, I’ll still be me, sorting my own thoughts, feelings and emotions. Will I really feel better doing that in a fancier house?

Well, ask a question, get an answer. As I’ve mentioned before, my window of opportunity slammed shut at that moment and I had to find another way to feel the feelings I was after.

I’ve been building my dream house ever since, and it’s stunning, I must say. There’s a huge front entrance, gargantuan foyer, patterned floors, giant windows, balconies, pools, gardens, endless rooms, all of it furnished and decorated in the most vivid colors. The artwork’s incredible and there are no ceilings.. only the starry night sky, so brightly lit it feels like day. I renovate whenever I want and don’t have to shop first. It’s truly a palace and I definitely retreat there as often as possible.

I had that same glum feeling the other day in Whole Foods. I was in line and looking around.. at all.. the.. stuff. It’s just too much! So I went home, to my dream house, to sort it all out.

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The Lines You Draw Are Saying Something

LMartin FreeDrawThinking about working with geometric patterning? The point is to relax. But even if you can’t, the lines you draw are saying something. And whether you interpret the messages with your mind or not, is irrelevant. Your body and essence translate and absorb what they need. What happens after that is unique to you and your path.

NineTomatoes Design for LMartinHere, the simple line drawing looks meaningless to most of us. But if you know about numbers and shapes, and how patterns are born, you know that a line needs only one more player to become manifest reality. So from this line comes a design that reveals endless patterns and vibrations, emitting frequencies to be aspired to energetically. The design will bring up in your life anything that is unlike its frequency, to be released from your patterning. As lower energies dissolve, space is created for higher vibes and that translates in your life as, simply put, less chaos.

The key? Pay attention to the subtleties. The design will bring gifts, but you can miss them if you’re not paying attention. The changes in your patterning will still happen, but it can take longer and be a bit of a rough ride. My best advice is to enter into this process prepared to be a participant in your own transformation. It’s fun, but not for the feint of heart.

Got a pen?

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Imagine the Possibilities

NineTomatoes CosmosIt’s so strange to live in a culture that generally doesn’t value its relationship to the cosmos. It can make human interaction feel weird. I often have a nagging desire to shout: “It doesn’t have to be this way!” But when I’m out in the world, I think, “Do any of these people care about shapes, nature, planets, stars, how we’re all connected and why that matters?” They look so busy going to work, finding clients, making money, raising families and managing the details of their daily lives.

But what would happen, I wonder, if I walked up to one of these people and said, “Ya know, we’re made of the most intricate patterns, and these shapes are the same ones found in all creation. Isn’t that amazing?! Did you know that when you tap into this matrix of patterns inside yourself, you can raise your frequency and really create some magic in your life? Then you wouldn’t be in such a rush and you wouldn’t be chasing freedom outside yourself. You’d feel alive on the inside and your life’s details would begin to sparkle. You’d see magical possibilities everywhere you turn and you’d naturally radiate (and attract) this delicious vibe everywhere you go!”

I’ve only tried that (in a more subtle way) on friends so far. But I just may get there. I mean, why not, right? It’s an invitation I certainly wouldn’t refuse, and just imagine the possibilities…

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Like Living a Metaphor

My Twin's Drawing for a Design

A letter from my toughest customer.

“As fans of 9T you may or may not know Dana has a twin sister, and that is me. I’ve resisted closeness to her work for years, not wanting her influence around me as I’ve learned to navigate this world and my own emotions feeling like a whole person, not “half” of someone else. Which is how I internalized being a twin from a very early age. I have appreciated her work, but from a distance. This is the stage I want to set for you so I can tell you what I had the opportunity to realize. She isn’t just creating beauty, she is creating connection and healing.

Here’s the story. Recently, I was in one of those several-day-long, odd funks. Hormones?? Weather?? Who cares. Just couldn’t find the key to unlock the darkness. Not that I didn’t try everything from exercise to meditation to acceptance. Still there. In talking about it one day via several texts to Dana she encouraged me to just try to sit down and color. This was not the first time I’d heard this suggestion from her over the years, and I’d flat out rejected it every time. I hate coloring. I don’t know what to color. I don’t even want to color. So I poured myself a glass of Chardonnay and sat on the couch with my sons for the evening. Within two minutes of sitting, something pulled me up off that couch, retrieved and sharpened all my colored pencils, got several blank sheets of paper and sat me back down. I looked at that scary blank paper and boldly started to put something down. And that was it. I kept drawing and coloring for the next hour. And it was glorious. I hadn’t expected to do it, much less enjoy it. But enjoy it I did.

It was such an eye-opening process, on so many levels. On the surface it was just plain fun. Below the surface, it was like living a metaphor. I was drawing me and where I’m at and what I feel. And on another level, it was such a blessing for our relationship because I experienced my own energy, not hers. It knocked down a barrier, a silent yet loud one between us. It allowed me to appreciate not just her beautiful, beautiful art, but the new knowledge I have now of her limitless creativity and ability to guide others to their own source, and ultimate healing. It wasn’t about having a piece of her hanging on my wall, it was about creating a doorway into me. She’s like a spiritual docent!

So that’s my story. I love the designs she made for me and I look at them often, depending where I’m at and what I need. And I think, wow, that’s me. What a wonderful thing.”

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Life Works Out Really Well

NineTomatoes AncestorsOk, I just spent 5 days immersed in the daily goings-on of an assisted-living plantation where humans hunched over walkers wait for the bus to ‘whatever comes next.’ First there’s shock and horror, then rejection, amazement, and finally wow-so-much-of-our-cultural-beliefs-are-just-horseshit. Look at these people! One I know very well. 89. Incredibly creative, piano virtuoso, pissed off most of her life, criticized and abused people, always plenty of money, never had to work, traveled the world, ate crap all the way, never exercised, pretty healthy… now living a pampered, quiet existence until the end, spraying I-love-you’s everywhere she turns. A full and messy life!

But what does that say about our straight-jacketed culture of eat-right, work-out, do-yoga, be-kind, get-enlightened, manage-your-vibe, quote-platitudes, save-the-planet, follow-everyone fanatics who try to convince us that right behavior is the ticket here on Planet Crazy???

I call bullshit. Enough already. Here’s what I do:

I eat what I love (it balances out)
I dance (more fun than a treadmill)
I stretch (no rules and it feels good)
I’m nice to me (and so, nice to everyone else)
I learn what interests me (it’s enlightening and inspiring)
I acknowledge my feelings (especially when they’re crap)
I quote myself (cuz I’m amazing)
I recycle everything (except quotes!)
I follow my own instincts (they’re tailor made for me)

And I run for the hills when someone else tries to feed me their version of the truth.

Nine or 89, I think life works out really well when we’re exactly who we are. If we don’t know who that is, maybe some self-discovery is in order. Love finds us either way, but I say, why wait til the end to start spraying I-love-you’s?

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Spiraling Blows My Mind… In a Good Way

Electron from "Constructing the Universe" Michael S ShneiderSo listen. I can’t really say why, but every time I do a drawing or design, it blows another part of my mind. Cuz they come through, and they “talk” to me and fill me up with incredible energy. It’s like a high. Only not, cuz there’s no crash, and you don’t go back to who you were before, and you know things you didn’t know before and you shift and change and it’s just cool as hell.

Anyway, six months ago, a new theme started showing up in my drawings. (Always means big shifts on the way.) Then a book showed up – “Constructing the Universe” by Micheal S. Schneider. He actually prefaces the title with “A Beginner’s Guide to…” (which almost turned me off) but I think he did that so people wouldn’t be afraid to read it. It’s actually pretty deep, at least in concept.

I’ve been taking it in a bit at a time since then. It’s about shapes, how they show up in nature, the meaning of life (nothing new so far, but still awesome.) So I’m reading along, about halfway through and he’s talking about spirals. (Cool, I dig spirals.) Then I hit this quote:

“From the smallest particle whirlpools to the largest clusters of galaxies, each dances the same spiral step when coming into, or dissolving out of, manifestation.”

Neato! Did you hear that? “…each dances the same spiral step when coming into, or dissolving out of, manifestation.” That means we do that too.

THEN, I turned the page.

Here’s what I saw (right pic) with the caption:

“A single electron in a superheated bubble chamber leav[ing] spiral trails…”

HOLY SHIT! That blows my mind! Picture yourself spiraling into and out of existence. What does it look like to you?

NineTomatoes SwirlTo me, it looks JUST LIKE a whole bunch of drawings that came through a few years ago. (And this is why you have to trust your drawings!) They “told” me then that all life is made of this incredible force of spiraling energy (spirals=manifestation=life) That energy is life. It fills us, surrounds us. It’s everywhere and everything. We come from it and go back to it (spiraling in and out of matter) and we have full access to it while we’re here in these bodies. There are millions, gazillions, of “beings” like this around us (we’re sooo supported by life), and we’re all connected to each other and the one source.

I didn’t tell anyone about these “knowings” for over a year, not even my husband. Who would believe me?! Now, everyone talks about this stuff (which is cool) but to experience that knowing outa nowhere is mind-blowing. And it happens every time.

Even if you don’t like to blow your mind, the concepts are still tangible. We’ve got this incredible boiling (swirling, you get the theme here) energy inside us just waiting to be unlocked, unleashed, set free. It’s Massive! Huge! Awesome! Real! And accessible. So accessible. It’s like cracking open a door and letting the light in (easy), which manifests as shifts in health, relationships, abundance, etc… the 3D aspects of our earthly existence. Want a shift? Let the light in.

Of course, keeping the door shut can blow your mind too. And you’ll definitely shift over time, but in a negative spiral (been there), and it’s not nearly as much fun. Blows my mind.

 

 

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Cliché But True

NineTomatoes Fly SuperHeroYou can’t take it with you. Isn’t that what they say?

Even so, I used to go shopping every weekend and buy stuff I didn’t need. I had bills up the wazoo. I worked a “real job” and everything was humming along like it would go on forever. Big money, big bills, lotsa stuff. The American Dream! What a bullshit house of cards. All it took was one phone call to tear it down. Over. Kaput. Up to that point, I’d lived my whole life believing that having a “good” job was the key to a happy and successful life. That’s what I was taught. Work hard, earn money, pay the bills, save for vacations and retirement. It was all I knew.

But it wasn’t all I felt. I was always disgruntled. Even though I was good at what I did, I didn’t like working for someone else. No matter what job I had, I only stayed in it for the money. And even that wouldn’t hold my attention. Eventually I’d be angry that I had to spend my time doing things for someone else every day just so I could eat and pay my bills. Felt like a treadmill, not a life. I just had no idea what to do instead.

That one phone call was the Universe answering my sloppy prayers. (note to self: be clear when praying)

What happened after that? I went through years of really hard, frightening stuff. I took risks and faced fears I thought would kill me, but only made me stronger (cliché but true.) I lived with almost no money for a long time (and found out I could.) I went through periods of desperation (and bliss), nearly ruined my marriage (but made it better), felt like crap and scared myself to death (didn’t die, got stronger.) All the while encouraged by a little voice that said “keep going.” So I did.

I eventually stopped the train(wreck) and turned it around. It gathered steam and started chugging along, then finally found a track where it could fly.

This kind of risk-taking isn’t for everyone. Some people need a net, and I admit, I could’ve made a thousand smarter decisions. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. The paths to freedom are as individual as we are. The only important thing is to go for it. Listen to your little voice. Don’t let life beat you down. Forget what you think you know. Find a way to hook into your own creative flow and set it free. It’s your life force! It’s the only thing you can really trust, and you can take it with you when you go.

 

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My Whole Life’s a Vacation

NineTomatoes Cosmic Seed "Whole Life's a Vacation"I’m sitting by my pool listening to the birds, as I often do. It feels like a vacation, but it’s just my daily life. Sometimes, to jolt myself, I’ll remember how I used to go to a job every day. I’d get up every morning, get dressed and head into the beehive of going-to-work drivers. I’d land in the dreaded parking lot, wishing I didn’t have to walk through those doors. Then I’d sit in my office, feeling like a prisoner, stuck inside away from the sun.

Somehow, though, I always believed if I could turn myself around internally, I could change my life. I just didn’t do the work. I was too busy, too stressed by my scheduled life. I’d try occasionally, but then I’d sink back into old habits. It took me a really long time to commit myself to what I knew was true: if I could find a way to love everything I was thinking, saying and doing, at work and at home (aka Love Myself) I could leap out of this nightmare into freedom. I started facing the truth, really examining all those things. Each time I hit an “I hate this” place in myself, I stopped and paid attention until I moved into neutral.

It meant slowing down. Really, that was so key. Slowing down and paying attention. I decided nothing was important enough for me to spend my well-being on it. I stopped telling myself to hurry up. I stopped scheduling everything. I stopped moving on to the next thing before I finished what I was doing. I stopped saying yes when I meant no. I stopped listening to anyone who “just needed to vent.” I focused on acknowledging myself and my feelings. I noticed the moment. I became hyper-aware. It was a full time job and the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done.

I don’t go to a job anymore, but I still do this work every day. It’d be so easy to wake up and dive into a to-do list even though I don’t have to, so I have rituals I do to stay out of that trap. To stay tuned in. Alert. Forever devoted to myself. It’s work I love, and it pays better than any job I’ve ever had. It also makes all the work I do feel like fun. It’s my life, not some hurry-up, get-it-done, get-to-the-next-thing treadmill. Now I’m free. I sit by my pool whenever I want and my whole life’s a vacation.